Radio Choas
by Belldandy'sKeiichi
Summary: I'm your host, Belldandy'sKeiichi and me and the HM crew are disgusting about random topics. This week's topic: Girls and Boys!
1. Relationships

Harvest Moon  
  
Radio Choas  
  
By: Belldandy'sKeiichi  
  
Note: [any text in here is a thought text]  
  
Author's Time: I can't believe I'm actually doing this...ah. Well, most of the summery is in the story and the whole purpose of writing this story is a stress reliever...even thought things will happen to me that will seem weird, and out of place....anywho! Enjoy!  
  
Disclaimer: You know the drill, I don't own Harvest Moon...  
  
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*A short introduction music plays*  
  
K1: If you are just tuning in, then I welcome you to 71.08 DATC with your host, Belldandy'sKeiichi. Or you can just call me K1. So! What exactly is 71.08 DATC? It's a radio station that me, and a whole bunch of other people host and we are all about discussing random topics with your favorite characters. Heh, so if you're looking for music like 'Get low' by Lil John and inc., then you won't find him here! But since you are already here, I might as well tell you what's going to happen. You see...  
  
ResedaSquadron: Um...K1? Why am I here again?  
  
K1: Ah yes, I forgot to introduce ResedaSquadron, or RS for short. He's my friend and he's here to help me host.  
  
RS: I am?   
  
K1: That's right! You see, there are times where things will get out of control and when that happens, your job will be to refill my shot glass and try to calm down everyone before they kill each other.  
  
RS: But what happens if they kill me? Am I insured?  
  
K1: *thinks for awhile* Nope! Moving on! Today's guests are your favorite characters from the Harvest Moon BTN series, Jack! Kai! Gary! ...um...Ann...let's see...eh, just come on out you guys!  
  
All of the bachelors and bachelorettes walk in the studio and takes a seat.   
  
K1: Welcome welcome!  
  
Jack: Hello there K1.  
  
K1: Ok! Now, today's random topic is...relationships! And...hey! What do you know? The people that are experts on this topic are here!  
  
Kai: I don't get it...  
  
K1: You're not suppose to...so! Let's start shall we? The topic: relationships. Let's start with you Ann. What is your view about relationships?  
  
Ann: Friendly or Love?  
  
K1: Um...love  
  
Ann: O, I don't want to fall in love or have a relationship...  
  
K1: *sweat drop* ok...wrong person to ask that question...how about you Doc? What is your view on relationships?  
  
Doc: Well, my view on it, unlike Ann's, is that everyone should fall in love. I mean, love is a great thing to fell. Some people don't fall in love because of the reaction of other person but if I was in love with someone, I would tell them face to face.  
  
Jack: O, that's rich coming from someone that just sits in the corner of the clinic all day, staring as a certain someone...  
  
Elli: Huh? Who are they talking about? *confused*  
  
Doc: I don't know what you're talking about...are you felling ok?  
  
Jack: O come on, I know how the way you stare at her, wishing that someday she'll notice you.  
  
Doc: Shut it Jack!  
  
Elli: ???  
  
Jack: And if I remember correctly, you told me that there are days where you just want to take her down and make out with her on the spot.  
  
Doc: Dammit Jack! Shut the hell up! I have examination tools and I ain't afraid to use them!  
  
Jack: Bring it on old man! Bring it on!  
  
K1: Whoa there people! Relax! This is after all public radio and everyone around our transmission area can here you two. Besides, we have rules that you guys have to follow...like not to make threats or use certain words...  
  
The Doctor and Jack sit back down.  
  
K1: That's better. So Jack, you seem pretty knowledgeable about this topic. Care to share your thoughts.  
  
Jack: Like how Gray plans to take advantage of Mary one day?  
  
Gray: Jack!  
  
Mary: What!  
  
K1: O boy...here we go....  
  
Mary: What's this talk about taking advantage of me?  
  
Gray: *hesitant* It's nothing Mary! Jack here is acting like an ass again.  
  
Jack: Am I Gray? But what about that thing you told me about keeping an overdue library book in your bedroom?  
  
Gray: How do you know this stuff!  
  
Mary: What! Then it's true!  
  
Gray: Of course not! I won't do something like that! I mean, can you actually see me doing something like that?  
  
Karen: *raises her hand* I can  
  
Ann: *also raises her hand* so can I  
  
RS: Shouldn't you do something about this K1?  
  
K1: Shhh, Shhh, they might do something drastic....  
  
Mary: How could you!  
  
Gray: But I didn't do anything!  
  
Mary: That's it! I'm doubling that book's overdue price!  
  
Gray: What?!  
  
K1: OK! That's enough of that! I think we should move on before one of us is dead...namely, Jack...  
  
Jack: Hey, can't blame me. I say them as I see them...  
  
Behind Jack, Gray was holding a gigantic clay pot over Jack but K1 shook his head at him.  
  
K1: Ok, next person. *picks up some papers* Cliff, you're a wanderer am I correct?  
  
Cliff: Right  
  
K1: And that you moved to Mineral Village about a year ago right?  
  
Cliff: That's correct...  
  
Jack: *hands K1 a piece of paper*   
  
K1: And it says here that you go by the name, Killer?  
  
Cliff: Jack!!!  
  
Jack: Hahahahaha!  
  
K1: God, ok Jack. I don't want to hear you until I call on you ok? It seems like every time you talk, someone gets pissed. So Cliff, what is your view point on relationships?  
  
Cliff: Well, I never had a chance to really establish a relationship with anyone... so I really can't answer that...  
  
K1: *sweat drop* Ok...how about we talk about friendships then...Mary? Want to take the question?  
  
Mary: I...I have no friends...  
  
K1: *even more sweat drops* Um... *checks his papers* Ah! Ann! It says here that you and Karen are best of friends.  
  
Ann: That's right!  
  
Karen: Best of!  
  
K1: Care to explain on how you guys kept a strong friendship?  
  
Ann: Well of course the best way keep a friendship from breaking is trust. I trust Karen with all my heart and I know she trust me as much.  
  
Karen: That's right...we share everything with each other and tell each other everything.  
  
Jack: Can I say something?  
  
K1: Um...no. I'm still mad at you for picking fights with everyone...  
  
Ann: Yup, and if all of us were stranded on an island with no food, me and Karen knows who we're going to eat first...  
  
Karen: Yup, we're eating Cliff...  
  
Cliff: What!!!  
  
Ann: Um...heh, Karen? I thought we were going to eat Rick...  
  
Rick: Now wait just a minute!!!  
  
Karen: What? We discussed this just yesterday. We eat Cliff to stay alive and use his bones as a SOS sign.  
  
Cliff: Jesus Christ!  
  
Ann: Heh, maybe you heard wrong over the phone. I said we eat Rick, then make Cliff king of the island.  
  
Karen: What! Where do you come up with this bull shit!  
  
K1: Um...girls? Public radio remember? We are suppose to be talking about relationships and friendship? Not cannibalism and survival...  
  
Karen: Heh, maybe you're the one that heard wrong. We eat Cliff...  
  
Ann: Rick!  
  
Karen: Cliff!  
  
Ann: Rick!  
  
RS: Um...K1...think we should stop this?  
  
K1 and RS looked at each other  
  
K1 and RS: Nah...  
  
Ann: *grabs Cliff* Look at him! He's all skin and bones! No real meat to him!  
  
Karen: And you think that Rick is any better? Look at his nerdy attire! I really don't think you can eat him.  
  
Rick: Hey now! I'm not a nerd!  
  
Kai: Ha ha ha, this is great! I hope they get into a cat fight!  
  
RS: So much for a strong friendship...  
  
Ann: I bet he doesn't even taste good! *licks Cliff's check*  
  
Everyone else: Ewww~! What the ....  
  
Ann: *makes her lips smack* Hmm...hey Cliff, did you know you taste like grilled chicken?   
  
Cliff: I taste like what!?!  
  
Jack: O no! Watch out Karen! I think that Ann is trying to get your 'slut of the year' award.  
  
K1: Hey hey hey! I told you to shut up!  
  
Karen: What! Back off bitch! That's my title!  
  
Everyone else: *sweat drop*  
  
K1: Enough of this ok! Enough! You two are best friends! It doesn't really matter who eats who because you're all friends. Can't you settle it like normal human beings?  
  
Ann and Karen looked at each other.   
  
Ann: I'm sorry Karen...  
  
Karen: I'm sorry Ann...  
  
Popuri: Huh? What? Hey! I get to say something! Awww, like best of friends...  
  
Karen: Sorry Ann for arguing...besides, I just remembered who we are really eating!  
  
Ann: Yeah yeah! Me too!  
  
Kai: *raises eyebrow* Really? Who?  
  
Ann and Karen looked at each other.  
  
Ann and Karen: We're going to eat Popuri!  
  
Popuri: What! Wait a tick!  
  
K1: Ok! Stop! We're not going to eat anyone!  
  
Kai: Speaking of which, is it lunch time?  
  
RS: Um...Kai? It's 3:51 pm...  
  
Kai: O...damn! I'm hella hungry... *looks at Popuri's direction*  
  
Popuri: *Backs away and curls up into a defensive position*  
  
K1: OK! I think we covered a lot of ground. As you have heard, we learned a lot about relationships and friendships and how to settle arguments. All you need to do is threaten someone that you'll eat them and everything will be fine! I would like to thank the HM cast from coming by and giving their thoughts today...  
  
Popuri: O my fucking god! Kai bit me!  
  
K1: ... and from all of us, me, RS, and the others here in 71.08 DATC we would like to say...  
  
RS: K1! Run! Popuri has snapped and is trying to bite everyone!  
  
K1: Um....don't eat me?  
  
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Like it? Hate it? Rate it! I might continue...if anyone reads this anyways... 


	2. Nuclear Fallout and Babies

Harvest Moon  
  
Radio Choas  
  
By: Belldandy'sKeiichi  
  
Note: [any text in here is a thought text]  
  
Author's Time: Wow, I didn't think that this story idea would strike a cord in some people...anywho! Enjoy!  
  
Disclaimer: You know the drill, I don't own Harvest Moon...  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
K1: Welcome back to 71.08 DATC, with me- Belldandy'sKeiichi or K1 for short. Also, I'm accompanied with ResedaSquadron, who wants to be known as Stormrider for now on...  
  
Stormrider: Or SR for short...  
  
K1: Indeed...if you are just tuning in, you probably miss our conversation about public safety...which ended in a free-for-all fist fight and I ended up on the floor unconscious.  
  
SR: I told you not to mention the war...  
  
K1: Heh, quiet you! It just comes to show you that anything can happen here on 71.08. Now, today's guests are from Harvest Moon: Back to Nature and like always, we will talk about a random topic. But instead of having the entire cast here, I have chosen 4 people. Who are they? Well, our first guest had their future planned out before he was born. Hahaha...Yup, you guessed it! The Doctor!  
  
*Doc comes out and sits*  
  
Doc: That's not funny!  
  
K1: Our next guest is everyone's favorite midwife...heh, if you know what I mean...come on out Elli!  
  
*Elli comes out and sits*  
  
Elli: What is that suppose to mean?  
  
K1: Don't worry about it ok? Now our next guess is a red-headed tomboy who has a pretty bad temper. Who is she? Her name is Ann!  
  
*Ann comes out and sits down*  
  
Ann: What the hell do you mean?  
  
K1: Now, the reason our next guest is here is because I'm a really forgiving guy...really! I am. He shouldn't be here because he pissed me off last time but I'll give him another chance. His name is Jack!  
  
*Jack comes out and takes a seat*  
  
K1: Now remember Jack, no provoking people...  
  
Jack: Yeah yeah, I got it.  
  
K1: Ok! Time to choose our random topic! SR, take out the hat!  
  
*SR takes out a hat filled with paper*  
  
K1: Now this hat is filled with topics and this time, we will discuss about... *reaches in and takes out a piece of paper* What did I get for number 6 on the Geometry homework?! *looks lover at SR*  
  
SR: Hey! I'm just wondering...  
  
K1: *crumples up the piece of paper and throws it away* Heh, ok, now for the real thing. *reaches in a takes out a piece of paper* Nuclear fall out???  
  
Doc: What the hell...  
  
Jack: Shouldn't these topics be...um...discussable maybe?!  
  
SR: Well, the rules are that we have to discuss about it....so...start!  
  
*momentary silence*  
  
K1: Um...Doc? How about you start us off?  
  
Doc: I'm a doctor, not a biologist...  
  
K1: *sweat drop* Um...Ann?  
  
Ann: Heh, don't look at me, I have no idea...  
  
K1: *hesitates* Um...ok...SR? Wanna contribute?  
  
SR: Sorry, I don't take Latin...wait...I do!   
  
K1: *slaps his forehead* good lord...ok, how about this? Jack, you start off, just say something! Something that we can change the subject to!  
  
Jack: Ok...how about...nuclear fall out is very dangerous...and...it can kill you, choke you, make you fall asleep...it can get you a soda...  
  
Doc: *sweat drop* Let me guess, you're peanut brain thought up of that one...  
  
Jack: Hey! If I wasn't on thin ice, you're so dead!  
  
*K1 glares at Jack*  
  
Elli: *fans herself* is it hot in here or is it just me?  
  
Ann: *fans herself also* now that you mention it...  
  
SR: O yeah...that's right. Our little brawl accidentally knocked out our air conditioning...so we have to wait until the repair man fixes it...  
  
K1: *checks the thermometer on the wall* don't sweat it thought...it's only 83 degrees in here...  
  
Ten minutes later...  
  
Ann: Try 95 degrees Jackass!  
  
K1: I didn't think it would rise so fast!!!  
  
Jack: Hey now! No need to hate on my name!  
  
Doc: God damn I'm baking...  
  
Elli: Someone please open a window!!!  
  
K1: Elli...the windows ARE open...  
  
Elli: X.x  
  
K1: How about this...let's continue our conversation about nuclear fall out and pray that the AC gets repaired soon...Jack, just keep on talking...  
  
Jack: Ok...let's see...Nuclear fall out can have devastating results...like death to nature....or it can kill all the fish in the water.... or it can change in climate...from 83 degrees to 95...and then people would be on fire by now...running around in circles...pretty fiery circles... and the devil would laugh at us... and...  
  
Elli: Enough! Shut up! I'll be right back! *leaves the studio*  
  
SR: Now where the hell is she going?  
  
K1: You don't think she's heading for the showers in the locker room...  
  
SR: Nah...I don't think she can find it...  
  
Elli's voice: Hey! A shower!  
  
K1: Lucky bitch... and we can't go anywhere because we have a show to host...right you guys? *turns around and sees everyone trying to get through the door* Hey! Get your asses back in you seats!  
  
Everyone else: Aww... *sits back down*  
  
K1: Doc...how about you say something...  
  
Doc: Well...it can cause birth defects...  
  
K1: Ah! There! Good! Birth defects! Or babies in general! We can change the subject to babies!  
  
SR: Great...who really wants to talk about babies...  
  
K1: Hey, it's better than nuclear fall out...   
  
Just then, the AC turns back on  
  
Ann: Alright!  
  
Jack: Sick!  
  
K1: Whew! Now that we have cold air coming through...finally, we can start talking...   
  
*Elli walks in, still dripping wet and wearing a towel*  
  
K1: Elli! What are you doing! Put on some clothes!  
  
Jack: *whistles* Damn! Looking good there Elli!  
  
Elli: Jack! Don't start with me! Someone took my clothes!  
  
SR: Must have been the janitor...you know how they like to keep stuff the find laying around...  
  
Elli: But I'm totally naked! With the exception of the towel of course...  
  
Jack reaches for Elli's towel but she kicked him back.  
  
K1: Hey hey hey, as much as I like seeing women naked like the next guy, we can't really allow that. So leave her alone Jack. Besides, we have a better topic: Babies. And along the lines, abortion. *takes out a bunch of papers* I have data on our population growth and sales charts. *Lays them down so everyone could see them* As you can see, population's up. Condom sales are down. Everyone is whining, yelling, and bitching about STD's, AIDS, and date rape and just this week, I saw in the park a 16 year old girl breast feeding her child. I mean, it seems that they have forgotten the scout's motto...  
  
Jack: Ahh...the scout's motto, never leave home without a condom... *takes out a condom wrapper* Um...ignore that... *puts it away*  
  
Ann: Jesus Jack... I'm surprised that you even have a condom...I mean, I didn't think you'll get laid EVER!  
  
Jack: O? And what does that mean, tomboy? I mean, wasn't it yesterday that you wanted to get a sex change?!  
  
Ann: What! That's not true!  
  
Jack: And besides! I can get any girl to fall in love with me! After all, I did win all of the festivals in town.  
  
Elli: Heh, that's a mystery...  
  
Jack: *stares Elli's way* you know what's a real mystery? What's holding that towel up!  
  
K1: Whoa there Jack, I warning you. You better not pick a fight anyone or else I'll be force to kick you out of the building. Now, about babies and abortion. Doc, you look like you have something to say.   
  
Doc: I do. Now I know that when you fall in love, your hormones wants to go crazy and that you want to make love to that certain person but you'll have to take control. You can't just go around, kissing people. It's just wrong.   
  
Ann: So what you're saying is...that people shouldn't mate?  
  
Doc: Not necessarily, it that people shouldn't be displaying their affection in public...  
  
SR: Wait, I'm confused, are you for or against sex?  
  
Doc: I'm for it as long as it's not in my view...  
  
Jack: Let me translate, he's jealous of people that have a relationship...  
  
Doc: Now that's not half true!!!  
  
K1: Um...ok, we'll just leave it at that and talk about abortions ok? Elli? Care to explain your side on this topic?  
  
Elli: Getting an abortion is a horrible thing! Not only are you killing life, but you are exterminating someone's future! It's like a trump card if you accidentally get pregnant.  
  
Ann: I'll have to cut in right there. What about date rape? I mean, why should you carry someone else's baby? It's not your fault that you got pregnant.   
  
Elli: Well maybe if you weren't at the wrong place at the wrong time, something like that won't happen.  
  
Ann: Ok, now you're just talking bullshit!  
  
Elli: Hey! Things like that don't happen to nice, kind people like me.  
  
Ann: *stares at her* Uh huh...and that would explain why you are naked?  
  
K1: Um...girls? I think we are getting off topic again!  
  
Elli and Ann: Stay out of it!!!  
  
Ann: You think you're all good miss goody two shoes?! You think you're an angel?  
  
Elli: That's right miss tomboy! I'm more feminine than you'll ever be! Unlike you, you overall wearing, tree hugging, booze dealing bitch!  
  
All the guys: Ooooo.....  
  
Ann: How about you? Always wearing that apron every single day. I mean, it's not like you're baking damn cookies! You short haired, flat chested, 2 cent whore!  
  
All the guys: Ooooo.....  
  
SR: Hey...this is getting good...  
  
K1: Um...you guys? Public radio?  
  
Elli: O! You want some? I don't think you can handle it!  
  
Ann: Bring it on bitch! *spears Elli down and they start to wrestle*  
  
Jack: Whoa! Look at them go! Come on Ann! Take off her towel!  
  
K1: *looks at his watch* O damn! Look at the time! It looks like we have to end it here! So what did we learn today? Never leave your cloths out in the locker room or destroy your air conditioner... something like this might happen to you....  
  
Elli: You punch like a girl!  
  
K1: Um... I would like to thank Jack, Elli, Ann, and Doc from coming by and giving their thoughts today...  
  
Ann: What now bitch! *pulls on her hair*  
  
K1: and from all of us here in 71.08 DATC, we would like to say...  
  
SR: K1! Watch out!  
  
Elli: *throws a chair and hits K1*  
  
K1: OW!!! Medic...  
  
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Ahh....well, review please...should I continue? 


	3. Girls and Boys

Harvest Moon  
  
Radio Choas  
  
By: Belldandy'sKeiichi  
  
Note: [any text in here is a thought text]  
  
Author's Time: Next Chapter is up! Enjoy this one and try not to be too offended...I promise you will see your revenge.   
  
Disclaimer: You know the drill, I don't own Harvest Moon...  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
K1: Welcome back to 71.08 DATC, with me- Belldandy'sKeiichi or K1 for short. Also, I'm accompanied with Stormrider or SR. Ah...more abbreviated names...there should be a topic about it...  
  
SR: You know it won't be the greatest topic in the world right?  
  
K1: Hehe...I know...but hey! It's that time again where we get the HM cast here and talk about a random topic! Well, I can't really say it's random this time because today's episode is a special one. But before I revile the pre-selected topic, I need to take this time to discuss the rules...since last time the HM cast was here, total havoc was unleashed. So first! Be respectful to one another. As in, don't give each other the single finger salute to everyone...Second! Try not to piss people off...I mean seriously, what can be worse if you are public enemy number one in the whole room? Hmm...Well, everything else falls in those two rules so...SR! What's our topic today?!  
  
SR: So! Today's topic is pretty general: Girls.  
  
K1: That's right! Topic at hand: Girls! Who are they? Why do we need them? If women and man were created equal, how come it's so hard for us guys to get along? I mean, it's all very confusing if you ask me. That's why we are having this topic discussed. Now, for our guest. Our first guest is very hard working, very reliable, and very very hard to get along with: Jack!  
  
Jack: Heh, very funny K1...  
  
K1: Now our next guest is a very likeable guy. He plays it cool with the ladies and seems to know a lot about them: Kai!  
  
Kai: That's right!  
  
K1: Now the man next to him hates Kai's guts. He works with chickens, which by the way, isn't the greatest job in the world. He is very protective and he seems to always smell like chicken feed: Rick!  
  
Rick: Yeah...it's not...hey!  
  
K1: Now our next guest is a real mystery man. He's use to live in the city and now lives in mineral village, helping his grandpa. He doesn't talk a lot and is normally seen in the library: Gray!  
  
Gray: That's not half true. I talk a lot.  
  
K1: Now our next guest...well, um...really doesn't have a first name. Really! He doesn't! But he goes by the name Docter!  
  
Doc: Well...I do have a name...  
  
K1: Right, and I have web feet...   
  
Rick: You have web feet also!  
  
Everyone stared directly as Rick.  
  
K1: Ok, I'm going to continue before sick images fill my mind...our next guest is a wanderer. He's from the city and currently lives in the Inn with Ann. In many ways, you can say he's a real loner: Cliff!  
  
Cliff: Hey! I'm not a real loner...I have friends...  
  
Jack: I hate to disappoint you Cliff but imaginary friends don't count!  
  
K1: Hey hey hey! What did I tell you about the rules huh? Now settle down everyone....  
  
Kai: Um...K1? Suppose that the girls hear our conversation and run to the studio...can the girls bust in here and kill us?  
  
K1: *thinks for awhile* Well...that's where SR comes in!  
  
SR: What?  
  
K1: You see, if, at any time we are attacked, SR can be used as a shield and in some cases, a floatation device!  
  
SR: I'm a human being! Not some seat cushion!  
  
K1: Well! Time to start this conversation! Jack, how about you start things off. Remember, the topic is girls.  
  
Jack: Right. Girls, I mean, why do we really need them? All they really do is get in the way or steal your money when you least expect it.   
  
Doc: You know not all girls a like that...  
  
Jack: *stares at the Doc* O really? Did you ever wonder what happen to that 2000g you said you "lost"? I'll tell you where it went! It went down Elli's pocket and she probably got herself a necklace or something.  
  
Doc: Actually...it went down her shirt and some of it went down her...  
  
Everyone stared at the Doc  
  
K1: Heh...ok! Too much information right there! Just continue on your thought Jack.  
  
Jack: Ok. Like I said, all girls really want to do is use you and steal your money. But we all know what they are really there for right?  
  
Cliff: For the company?  
  
Rick: For the encouragement?  
  
Kai: For the love?  
  
Jack: NO! You pencil-neck geeks! To make us guys feel good!  
  
SR: What? Now that can't be true...  
  
K1: Heh, um, Jack? I have to say that what you are saying is very offensive...it's sexism but to a new level. And you do realize that over 40,000+ can hear your every word?  
  
Jack: Shut up, I'm just getting started. And all they really do is buy clothes that they clearly don't need. And shoes! O my god! How many pairs of shoes can one girl have?! If you ask me, girls are a nuisance to us guys!   
  
K1: OK! I think I will cut you off right there Jack. Not that you're giving a good augment and all...it's because someone could file a police report or something like that...Now let's move from the women hater to the women lover, Kai. Kai, if you will, please give your side of the story.  
  
Kai: Gladly, you see, women are great to have around. Not only do they make us guys feel good, it seems that when they are around they make guys work twice as hard. And besides, what about mating? In order to have offspring, you need to have sex with a girl. The problem with you Jack is that you never experience true love.  
  
SR: You know, in many ways Kai says the truth. In order to have offspring, a female companion is required.  
  
Kai: Yup, that's the main reason why we need girls...and that...a to hell with it! It's really all about sex!  
  
All the guys cheered except for some guys.  
  
K1: *slaps his fore head* Good lord...you're just as bad as Jack! Doc? Care to say anything?  
  
Doc: Gladly...women aren't play things for our entertainment you guys. They are human being like me and you and they deserve our respect. *reaches into his pocket* Hey...where's my money?!  
  
Jack: Elli probably took it and ran off with it...and if I remember correctly, I believe I saw here with a new dress on today...  
  
Doc: *thinks for awhile* That bitch! I'm with them! Women are good for nothing!  
  
K1: *sweat drop* Wonderful...now the Doc has join this rebellion... I think I should tell everyone that I'm not a womanizer... just for the record...  
  
Just then, someone was pounding on the door and the voices of the HM girls are on the other side.   
  
Gray: Way to go you jackasses! Way to piss them off! *runs to the door and holds it back*  
  
Everyone else: *runs over to Gray and helps him guard the door*  
  
Ann's voice: Dammit you guys! When we get in there you are so dead!  
  
Cliff: O my god! Ann is pissed!  
  
SR: So this is how I'm going to die...  
  
K1: Come on you guys! All for one and one for all! No retreat! No surrender!  
  
Just then, the door swigged open and the girls rushed into the room, holding foreign objects in their hands.  
  
Rick: Good bye cruel world...  
  
K1: Wait! Before you kill us! I just have one thing to say! ...it's all Jack's fault!  
  
Jack: What!!!  
  
Doc: *points at Jack* That's right! If you're going to kill someone, kill him!  
  
Kai: Yeah! He said most of that crap about girls!  
  
Jack: What a minute! You blame this crap on me!  
  
Doc: *staring at Elli* Hey! She did get a new dress!  
  
K1: Um...girls? Before you do anything drastic, how about we make a deal?  
  
All the girls looked at each other.  
  
Karen: We're listening...  
  
K1: Yeah! So...um...how about you get your say about boys? Like, what you don't like about them? As a matter of fact, the subject is now about guys. So take the floor girls!  
  
All the girls looked at each other and took a seat.   
  
Karen: Ok, I think I'll start. Guys are nothing but lazy, inconsiderate, morons that takes them five days to do repair work on their hair...  
  
Rick: *starts fixing his hair then looks back at everyone* Whew, don't worry! My hair's alright!  
  
Ann: Yeah, and they do nothing but stare at our goods all day, thinking how long it would take them to get us in bed...  
  
Doc: *still looking at Elli* I knew it! It is a new dress!  
  
SR: Um...Doc? Kinda late for that dude...  
  
Popuri: *licks her ice cream* And if you want to talk about being used, how about when a guy ditches you after sex? Huh?! Has that ever happen to you guys? *looks the other girls*  
  
Silence fills the studio  
  
Popuri: Uh! Metaphorically speaking of course! Hehe...  
  
Karen: ...now that's fucking discussing...but never the less! Guys are as just as bad as girls! But more...  
  
Jack: Hey! What's with that "but more..." comment at the end?!  
  
Ann: Because it's true! The only thing that you guys ever think of is sex, boobs, and beer...I mean, how juvenile. You're all a bunch of... *stops, realizing that Cliff was staring at her again* *Punches Cliff through a wall* Damn you, you pervert!  
  
SR: O my god! Our wall! This is coming out of our pockets...  
  
Cliff: *on the floor* Medic...  
  
Kai: Hey now, it's not like you don't do the same thing! Always, fluttering your eyebrows at us and staying close to us, but mostly saying close to our wallets...  
  
K1: Calm down you guys!  
  
Karen: O that's rich coming from a guy that comes down to our village every summer. A guy that tries to get laid every summer and runs off back home when he fails A guy that lives with his mother.  
  
Kai: Hey! What are you trying to get at!  
  
Jack: Damn...I'm hungry... *looks over a Popuri and takes her ice cream cone*  
  
Popouri: Hey! That's mine!  
  
Jack: *licks the ice cream cone* O really? *Sticks the ice cream cone on top of his crotch* Then come and get it then! You fucking bitch!  
  
K1: Ok! I think time's up! So what have we learned today?  
  
All the girls: Boys are dorks!  
  
All the guys: Girls are sluts!  
  
K1: Um...well, I learn that I should never pick the topics ever again...I think I'll stick to the hat...Well, I would like to thank the guys and the gals of HM for coming today...  
  
*Everyone starts fighting in the background*  
  
Kai: O my god! Popuri's trying to bite me back!  
  
K1: And from all of us, me, SR, and the rest, we would like to say...  
  
Ann: Let's throw K1 out the window!  
  
K1: *sweat drops* Um...save me?  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Yeah yeah, I know...I never get a break at the end huh? Well, review plz! 


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